E. from OurLifeUpstate.com needed a place to vent without having to worry about who would read it on her blog. If you’d like to comment on this post, please do so on this page instead of on her website. I’ll make sure to pass on every comment you make. Thanks, Matt.
Have you ever noticed that when you are in higschool your best friend is usually the opposite sex? And sometimes you want to date that person but most of the time it has nothing to do with that. You just tend to have an easier time talking to someone of the opposite sex. It just sort of is. Your mother does not get it. She cannot figure out why you spend so much time hanging out with the person and yet you will not date them. But it doesn’t really matter.
And then all of a sudden life starts to come at you. You grow, you change, you get married. Life goes on. But now that friend that you had in highschool you have not spoken to in years. Your not really sure how you lost contact with them. They did one thing, you did another, you spoke for awhile and then BAM!! Its been ten years since you have heard from them.
We live in a modern world. An internet world. A world where people are not that difficult to track down. You don’t have to call their mother, or wait for a highschool reunion No!! You’ve got facebook. And viola!! There they are. So, you click the add as friend button. Your friend confirms and you talk again. You joke in an easy way. There is very little of “what have you been up to?” talk – just enough to fill each other in. Otherwise you talk about everyday things – the same as you did then. You joke freely and openly. The banter flows, there is a little harmless flirtation. Your spouse knows – they do not feel threatened.
This goes on for awhile. This back and forth. You realize that it has been years since someone (aside from your spouse) has really “gotten you” like this friend does. You find yourself looking forward to telling this long lost friend about the crazy person at the grocery store or the funny ad you saw. You wonder about this new/old friendship. Is it starting to cross a line? Would you even ask yourself this question if the person were of the same sex as you? Probably not, but none the less they are. You try not to think about it. And then one day the jokes go too far. This friend offers something altogether inappropriate.
They offer an affair. You think they are joking, but you are not 100% sure. You really hope that they are. You do not really want to bring it up and ask because well, what if they are not joking. Your spouse has no opinion. They trust you so it does not matter. Whatever you do is fine. Continue the friendship, don’t continue the friendship it makes no difference to them. You try to talk to your other friends. They tell you not to talk to this person. That this person is no good – but really what do they know. They do not understand you – how could they possibly understand your friend?
But, of course, in the end you know that joking or not it is all too much. You have to at least scale back. Maybe you can assume they are joking and keep in contact with them. You figure remaining “facebook friends” will do no harm. But you know you cannot continue this talking everyday or so friendship. It is a bad idea. And all of a sudden you realize how much you hate sexual tension.
