Tag Archive: craziness

Random Tuesday Thoughts: China Time!

Written on September 1st, 2009 and labelled Fun, Random Tuesday Thoughts
2 Comments - Thoughts?

randomtuesday

If you didn’t gather from my last post, a few days ago it was confirmed that my family had found my blog.  I never explained how I confirmed this.

First of all, about a week ago from today I get a visitor land on my page who had the EXACT screen resolution:  1680×1050.  Now, this isn’t a common screen resolution.  In fact, the only computer-screen type I know that does it is the screen that both we, and my brother, have.  The visitor also was using firefox and vista, both things I know he uses.

I THEN noticed that I had another visitor one minute later who had landed via an inbound link from live.com.  The ONLY person I know who has a @live.com e-mail address is my other brother.  But, you know, there are lots of people who have @live.com e-mail addresses, right?

It finally came 3 days ago (or was it 4?). Bro #1 and parents had gone to bro #2’s house for a late lunch.  During the time they were there I noticed that the person with the 1680×1050 resolution had gone on my site again.  I found this curious.  When they came back, though, I was sure.

As soon as they came back I went to unlock the door (not locking the door when you’re the only person home is heresy in our house).  Brother #1 came through the door and handed me these headphones, along with a rushed:

“Adam got you these.”

Then, in a super-sly, super-”I know your dirty little secret”, voice:

“He read somewhere that you wanted some headphones with a mic.”

Oh holy moses.

——

Now, I know that to a lot of people the idea of their family finding their blog is just an inevitable — or even slightly intriguing — event.  But for me, not so much.

I share things on this blog that I don’t share with other people.  Some of the very personal tidbits that I share on here are just that: very personal.  I share them because I know that the majority of people that visit, read or subscribe to this blog are people who I won’t meet.

And more importantly, they’re people who are likely to understand and sympathise with my feelings.  My family and sympathy?  Hmm.  Not so much.

When they found my blog, I practically shat myself.  And not one of those tiny accidental ones where you just happen to fart a bit too much and a little bit comes out.  More like an emergency-services-need-to-be-called scatological incident, type of shitting myself.

But, you know, having any sort of website which you don’t want found means that you have to take responsibility in hiding it.  And I realise now that I just wasn’t doing that.  Well, at least not enough.

So, I got on my DESTROY ALL ACCESS TO FAMILY horse.

I went a bit mad.

Because, well, I decided I had to take a page of out the People’s Republic of China book.  And so, let’s say you want to access the blog from this house (where currently my two parents and older brother live), this is the screen you’ll get:

Netgearyo

“But Matt, how are you able to write posts of awesome goodness of which I must tell all my friends?”

I access our wireless router and make it let me, of course!  The router which had its password changed by me three days ago!  *enter menacing laughter*

adminyo

“But what about your -other- brother Matt?  Won’t he be able to get on your blog?”

Not with the forbidden screen of death-ray nosey-family banishing!

forbiddenyo

Yeah! No more interfering from THEM!  Aren’tcha proud?

Tags: , , ,

Dear Poop Face, Go Away.

Written on July 22nd, 2009 and labelled Brain Talk, Happiness, Reflections
1 Comment - Thoughts?

Hai.

So, a few days ago I was watching ‘The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency‘ and, after seeing whatshername’s assisant say ‘Go Away’ in this amazingly-fitting African accent that seemed to make the ‘Go Away’ velvety smooth, it got me practicing my accents.

I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a weirdo. I like accents. A lot. And even more, I like to try and get them just right so I can say things like this ‘Go Away’. Here’s the teaser for the program. As it’s already ended, it’s just to get you to buy them so you can watch their awesomeness yourself.

Here’s a snazzo picture of the speaker:


So, uhm, anyway. I was, honestly, more than a little bit jealous when I read a certain blogger’s blog t’other (that’s: the other) day. Not Emerald Delight No. 2 Green with envy. Not even Grecian Garland No. 3 jealous. Something closer to Granada Green No. 6 type of jealousy-greenn-ness.

And it got me thinking. Why wasn’t I as capable a writer as her? Yeah yeah, I know, I write all fine and it’s nice to read and blah blah with a cup of blah with a scoop of blah on top. But, honestly, there’s a line (which isn’t a fine line, by the way) between an ‘okay’ writer and a ‘GREAT’ writer. It’s clear which I’m on and, well, it was very clear to me which side she was on.

And it got me thinking. What’s that one ingredient that I need? Silken Tofu? Bran Flakes? Chilli-Cheeze-Fries?

But then it really got me thinking. I’m quite a Twitter lover (here’s me) and, well, I am sometimes very much astounded by the base some people have made on Twitter. Like, seriously. I don’t just mean the ’stars’ who have 10 zillion followers who ‘Oooh’ and ‘Aaah’ at everything they do. I mean those people who have, quite literally, gone from nothing and made themselves a community.

I’m especially impressed by the moms/mums that do this.

And so, as I was thinking about why I was an Epic Mage of Suckage in the World of Blogcraft, I decided I would actually get to know someone who, to me, is one of several Twitter Demi-Goddesses on my list. I sent her a tweet to get the end-of-this-suckage ball rolling. To start off with it was rocky ground. I was like WTF. When did Twitter-conversation and gaity (that’s being all fun ‘n’ stuff, not having orgies) become kinda hard? When did it become a SLOG?! Uhm, yeah.

So then it kinda hit me. I’ve evolved from a Mattachu to an Old-Croneachu. Shocked much? Not much, I’ll bet.

It half-hit me and half-didn’t. Sort of like when someone looks at a box of powdered icing sugar and it suddenly explodes everywhere. The sugar doesn’t really ‘hit’ you, but rather wafts seductively onto you until you’re covered in a big-ass sugary mess. But there it was, my big sugary mess: When did I suddenly have to make life so serious? I’ve got, like, 60 years left. IF that. I’m a man, so who am I kidding? I’ve got 53-ish years left (and, if you’re paying attention, you can work out my age (ish) with that)!

So, with that in mind, I need to loosen up a little, stop being such an Old-Croneachu and be more of a a Looseachu. Let’s see how this goes.

Until our next equilibrioception encounter,

Tags: , , ,