Category Archives: Happiness

It’s true, I laughed so hard a little pee came out.

Written on February 6th, 2010 and labelled Happiness, Sillypants, Tomfoolery
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So the woman on Twitter who I half-idolize, half am SUPER DUPER envious of, half who is just plain awesome, half who I know dislikes all this crazy fanboy sillyness, twitpic’d this yesterday. Suffice it to say, laughing has never come so easily. And so hard. And left me so dizzy and out of breath.

Intrigued, I decided to make my own.

Oh dear.

Luckily, my worries were more focused upon the tiny amount of pee being released from my loins due to my increasingly hard laughter rather than the fact that computers now think I am a woman.

At least I don’t have to worry about periods?

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The Boy: Part One, A Crush

Written on December 17th, 2009 and labelled Emotions, Happiness, Relationships, the boy
6 Comments - Thoughts?

This post is as factual as far as my memory can recall. I deliberately left out murky bits because, well, they aren’t important. This all happened today. And yes, it’s part one, because I see more happening soon; good or bad, though, I cannot yet see.

——-

I pause from my idle chatter to friends. My body, resting with my back to the wall, seated on a table. I see him on the other side of the room. Talking. Playful. Being. He looks at me. He smiles his broad smile.

Is my hair okay? I hate these clothes, why did I wear them? They’re so ugly. Do I look fat? Oh god, does he think I’m weird? No, Matt. Smile. Smile Matt!

I smile back. A boyish grin. He looks away and falls back into his conversation. I stare at him, longing for him to know how I feel. I watch his face. His cute nose accentuating the beauty of his personality. I look away before anyone notices my hungry staring. I gaze into absent air. I return to conversation.

If only he knew. If only I could tell him. If only he felt the same way. But maybe he does feel the same way? But what if he doesn’t? I want him to feel the same way. But I don’t want to force him. If I truly care about him, I have to be prepared to let him go.

My heart twinges ever so slightly behind my caring, soft, laughing eyes. I continue to blurt out conversation with friends. Laughing and joking. The ambient hubbub filling the air. Making silly remarks and running to the window to stare at the beautiful snow flitting from the sky onto the school grounds. We look at the children walking through the entrance downstairs. I joke about dropping eggs. A friend adds that they’d be apt Christmas presents. I laugh. Forcefully nonchalantly, secretly, I look around to see him. I panic. And then my eyes find him.

What’s he doing? What’s that in his hand? I love his hat so much. Wait, is this weird? What’s wrong with me? Why am I so obsessed with him? Is this wrong? No. It’s natural. I’m a human. Relationships are fundamental to existence. Don’t forget, Matt.

I notice a ‘Where’s Wally’ card in his hands. I race over, using Where’s Wally as an excuse to be near him. To smell his sweet skin. To feel his warmth near mine. I lean over, next to him. My face millimetres from his. I blather about how amazing Where’s Wally is. I inhale deeply, savouring his smell. Everything becomes a blur. The façade holds. We race to find him.

Why aren’t there any other guys like this in the world? Why do I always crush on guys before Christmas? Oh god, Christmas! I won’t be able to see him for 2 weeks! Maybe even more! I can’t believe it!

The sweet, soft feeling grows in my heart. I notice a very delicate smell of cigarettes come out of him. A part of me is repulsed. A part of me doesn’t care. A part of me trusts that I can help him overcome his addiction. I wonder what’s wrong with me; when boys suddenly overruled ethics. But this isn’t just ‘a boy’. I watch as he continues to look for Wally, as my eyes frantically search around the white and red Christmas card. A tiny flare of competitiveness stokes in me. I smile.

How long can I stay near him? I wish I could be close forever. How silly am I? He’s just a boy Matt. But he’s not. He’s more. Things feel different. Things feel special. I’ve never felt this way, Matt, and you know it. You just don’t want to admit that there’s a lot of chaotic emotion underneath all of those layers.

He finds Wally. A part of me is let down. A part of me is happy that he’s happy. I create a post-it in my head to use him beating me as a conversation starter. Things happen. He goes to do something. I go back to my friends and continue to tumble in and out of silly conversations and silly thoughts and silly self. I go back to the window and see my friends Amy and Charlotte outside in the gushing snow. I stifle an excited scream. I drag everyone outside. We dance in it.

Is he watching? I wish he was. I wish he could see me being silly in the snow. I wish he would feel a spark inside himself for me. Maybe he is watching me? Maybe he feels the same? No, he probably doesn’t. But I can hope. I will hope. I will have faith in him. I will have faith in myself. I can’t let this go. Not yet. Not now.

The snow stops as fast as it came. We all go inside. I race Amy up the stairs. I win. Then she wins. Then we both laugh ourselves silly. I sit down. I search for him and see him. I smile a subtle smile. No one else sees. I watch him and note his friends. I feel slightly more hopeful. I know, albeit in a tiny way, his friends. A part of me is reassured. I start talking to my friends about school. Homework we haven’t done. Homework we don’t intend to do. I feel a tiny bit guilty. I look at him again. He’s moved. I stare at him for too long, though no one notices. He smiles at me. I smile back. I look for too long. I look away. I feel stupid.

What am I doing? Oh crap, does he think I’m weird? What have I done? Am I fucked now? I better not be. I can’t have lost everything over a look. No. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Just get back to everything normal. Act cool. Act normal. Be calm.

The bell goes. I go into the back to get my bag out of the office. I take too long. A friend distracts me. I hope to see him before he leaves completely. To see his beautiful hair. To look at his face just one more time. I come out of the office. He’s gone. As are most people. I already miss him. I think about getting his timetable from the school system. I sound like a stalker to myself. I hold myself back. I go to English. I miss him.

And he has no idea. Maybe.

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A Little Kindness goes A Long Way

Written on September 29th, 2009 and labelled Authentic, Happiness, It's nice to be nice, Reflections
1 Comment - Thoughts?

In a nutshell: people who work in customer relations and are on the receiving of an e-mail or phone call, who are then kind and courteous, deserve a big smooch.

-

So a while back, the awesome MommyMelee mentioned something about aromatherapy.  Now, me being me, I decided that if a lovely gal like MM likes aromatherapy, then I should go and check it out (an advertiser’s wet dream, I’m sure).

Off I tootled.  And, surprisingly, after only a few minutes of swinging from website to website,  I found myself in the luxury of some aromatherapy website selling some aromatherapy course.

As it was free, I don’t understand why I didn’t sign up.  Something must’ve caught my drawn-to-shiny-or-glossy eyes.

A few weeks passed.  Sunday the 6th (0r 13th?) came around and, lo and behold, I decided that I wanted essential oils and a burner.

Though I didn’t actually know what an oil burner was, what one looked like or where I could find one, it seemed to me that it’s the thought that counts.

So I scurried over to google and found myself soon landing on the siee of a UK company called Woodland Herbs.

Now, don’t get me wrong, even though their landing page is fairly attractive, navigating its inner depths was quite a nightmare.  And its shopping cart?  Don’t even get me started.

And, too, the shipping took longer than something that was sent internationally on the same day.

But anyway.  When my order did arrive I ripped open the package and quickly went to use my brand new oil burner with some organic cedar oil (no pesticides for me, yo).  Well, cedar oil & water, of course.

So it gets going and I’m all excited.  I decide that I want to make my bedroom smell pretty, so I blow out the candle and leave it to cool down so I can transport it upstairs.  Naturally, I’m all like ‘heck if I’m gonna wait for this to cool’, and go and make something or do something or play with something*.  I can’t remember.

So I come back from what I’m doing and am like, ‘oh crud, did I leave the window open and did rain somehow blow onto the chair?’

Err, no.  The burner, which took longer to arrive than some mail from the US and took me 34 minutes to order, had decided to leak.  Everywhere.  NOT happy.

I punched in my e-mail, pasted in their contact and then, curtly, asked them why the oil burner which I’d only used ONCE had started to leak.

The response I’ve received, quite frankly, makes all the waiting and hassle worth it.

First, the man who shot me an e-mail back made it his first priority to talk with the supplier to work out why on earth it was leaking.  Hurray.  Answers to my anger.

I sent him an e-mail back saying thank you and that I appreciated the help.

Silence for a couple of days.

Then, after logging onto my e-mail today, I get this:

enquiriestome

Apart from his misuse of ‘ok’, I’m very happy that he’s sending me a replacement.  I mean, for real?  If my Nike trainers had busted and I hadn’t been given a warranty (which this burner hadn’t come with) then there wouldn’t be a chance in HELL that I would’ve gotten a replacement pair.

But to me it just proves that a little kindness goes a long way.  Despite the time delay and difficult navigation, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I’ll be going back to get all my essential oil needs satisfied (yeah, that’s right, I have needs).

The moral of the story?  A little bit of kindness can go a very long way.  You never know who might become your next long-term customer, client or best friend.  Sometimes just being kind can really enrich a life.  After all, it’s nice to be nice.

—

*Dirty mind much?

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50 things.

Written on August 29th, 2009 and labelled Happiness, It's nice to be nice
2 Comments - Thoughts?

I realise that sometimes more than ever before I’m being a Negative Norman/Nancy/Whatever.  And, you know, while you may hate reading about the crud that happens in my life, I also quite dislike writing about it.

Writing about horrible stuff is easy:  horrible is forever in the news, or just down the road, or hiding under the bed.  Horrible is always around — and it will always be around — and I need to seriously understand and accept this.  Crappage happens.  There’s no point dwelling on it as, after all, that’s going to get us nowhere.

So, to try and break my negativity spell, here are 50 things which I like.  50 things that make me smile or laugh or that I truly, truly value.   Feel free to make your own after reading mine.  :]

  1. I like how fascinated with the sky I am.  How much I love to stare and stare at a blue sky.  Especially if I wake up early in the morning when the weather is different to the rest of the day.
  2. The first picture (along with the others, but the first one the most) of this post makes me smile my face off.
  3. I like that I imagine little music videos in my head as songs go along.
  4. I like that I don’t drink any soft drinks or anything out of a can.  I like that water, herbal tea or juice are my beverages of choice.
  5. I like how my friend Sophie allows me to give her a book on menopause every year for Christmas.
  6. I like my fragile relationship with reflexive verbs in other languages.
  7. I like that I’m an English dork.
  8. I like that even though some of my friends can be absolute pains in the ass at times, they are good friends nonetheless and I do actually cherish them.
  9. I like that I give a shit about things in the world.
  10. I like that I know how — and when I need to — switch off my self-consciousness.
  11. I like how much insight into myself therapy has and will give me.
  12. I like that, even though they’re ‘only animals’, my cats are like surrogate children to me.
  13. I like that I’m quite clear (at least in my mind) on who I do and do not like.
  14. I like how varied my musical tastes are;  that I can listen to Evanescence, Fiona Apple and Enya one after the other.
  15. I like how my ability to write is deeply seated in my emotional self.
  16. I like the fact that my three all-time favourite movies are either foreign or were made over 10 years ago.
  17. I like how much I love animals.
  18. I like how a little kindness goes a very long way.
  19. I like how reading pictographical instructions overloads my mind with confusion.
  20. I like how I’m not afraid to be somewhat brusque in a shop because I know that, essentially, I’ll be giving them my money.
  21. I like all the nice memories of days gone by.  The secret memories and moments that define who I am.
  22. I like that I talk to myself when I’m alone.
  23. I like how I try not to kill flies but, rather, let them out.
  24. I like being an affiliate member for several companies and people even though I’ve never earned a penny from being one.
  25. I like how goshdarn weak my circulatory system is (even to the point where resting my left foot on top of my right knee (making a triangle shape with my left leg and right thigh) gives me pins-and-needles).
  26. I like how I use hyphens all the time, even though I know I don’t really need to use them as frequently as I do.
  27. I like how cautious of the news I am.
  28. I like how I’m learning to use GIMP one tool at a time.
  29. I like shopping online.
  30. I like how obsessed I am with tracking all the visitors to my blog.
  31. I like how saying ‘my blog’ makes me feel grown-up.
  32. I like that I’m addicted to hummus.  A lot.
  33. I also like how addicted I am to aiming low.
  34. I like the fact that the saying ‘turn the other cheek’ always makes me think of a guy’s butt.  A nice butt.
  35. I like that I can cook!  (And that I DO cook)
  36. I like doing press-ups.
  37. I like singing when no one is home.  Like right now.
  38. I like to walk around naked at home, though I don’t usually.
  39. I like how I take my Creative Zen: M to bed so that I can listen to teleseminars I’ve downloaded before I go to sleep (so the information can soak in!).
  40. I like how I’ve always been the thinnest person in my family.  And that I am presently.  Though, I wouldn’t [EVER] rub it in their faces, because I know how much it stings to feel overweight.
  41. I like clothes that forgive my womanly hips.
  42. I like clover.
  43. I like going for walks on my own.
  44. I like it when you’re on a plane and you’re going down the runway and there’s that sudden, super-duper increase in speed and then the plane suddenly lifts off the ground.
  45. I like it that I know a quick test to determine if a mirror is two-way or not.
  46. I like taking showers that are nice and warm and have big nozzles on the shower-head.
  47. I even more like taking baths, but often don’t.
  48. I like that I know all the words to this song.  And most of them to this one, too.
  49. I like the sound of wind rustling through a tree or water running over rocks.
  50. I like how I have both the drive and motivation to get myself out of the UK.

And you know?  Even if it does make 51, I like that you’ve read this.  :)

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I died from cuteness overload.

Written on August 1st, 2009 and labelled Happiness, It's nice to be nice
0 Comments - Thoughts?

You can die from cuteness overload too! All you have to do is click on this link, then click on the word ‘Babito’, and you can hear the CUTEST EVER singing!

Death by cuteness.

Disclaimer: You might probably quite possibly not die, but no promises are made.

Editor’s note of obviousness: The link goes to the site of an awesome Dad who blogs about his kid, The Babito. Therefore, obviously the singing is in no way associated with The Kingdom of Matt and was linked to for cuteness overload love and nothing else. Thanks for understanding.

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